


Kakashi, If You Were Gay

by DrivvenWrinth



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fanfiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 16:59:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrivvenWrinth/pseuds/DrivvenWrinth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto tries to express his support of Kakashi's sexuality...okay, maybe it's a little more than just his support. (Songfic), Crack, OOC, COMPLETE, Language, Oneshot ,WAFF, Yaoi</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kakashi, If You Were Gay

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This was written for a songfic contest on LJ, but I pulled  
> it out of that. I wanted to get it posted and they were having trouble  
> making a decision. I still wish everyone else the best of luck.  
> (This is my first songfic. I had no idea how hard they were!) 
> 
> Thanks to FairyNiamh for betaing after I pulled it from the contest (look, I  
> fixed it, no more Itcha Itcha! hahaha!) Thanks to alisteal on LJ for  
> betaing it before I entered it in the contest.

"Aah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, 'Icha Icha Yaoi Rules'. No

'roommate' to bother me. How could it get any better than this?"

Kakashi sighed. Naruto had been living with him for a month now, while the

younger man's apartment building underwent some massive repairs. He was

beginning to drive Kakashi nuts, in a lot of ways.

The door opened and a travel pack hit the floor. Kakashi groaned and slid

the book into his back pocket, pulling a copy of the hetero version from under a

couch cushion. He would have to pretend the words 'she' and 'hers and such

were really 'he' and 'his' again. He really wasn't ready to 'come out' in

front of his former student.

"Oh, hi K'ashi!" Naruto said with the annoyingly cheerful smile.

"Hi Naruto."

"Hey K'ashi, you'll never guess what happened to me on the road this

morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me..."

"That's very interesting." Like Kakashi cared? He ignored the fact

that he'd just re-read the same sentence twice.

"He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me. I think

he might've thought I was gay!" Naruto said as he landed, travel dust and

all, next to Kakashi on the couch.

"Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I

don't care." Kakashi was very aware of their close proximity. He

tried to change the subject. "What did you have for lunch today?"

"Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, K'ashi..." Naruto

smiled in that disarming way and all the warning bells went off in Kakashi's

head.

"I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met,

okay?" He hit the page he was reading with the back of his hand for

emphasis and said. "I'm trying to read."

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Kakashi. I just think it's something we

should be able to talk about."

Kakashi paled a little under his mask. He really didn't want to talk about

this with Naruto. "I don't want to talk about it, Naruto! This

conversation is over!!!" Kakashi stood up and started for the door of his

bedroom.

"Yeah, but..." Naruto persisted, pouting a little at his older friend's

gruff tone.

"OVER!!!" Kakashi said as he shut his bedroom door firmly and fell face

first onto his bed. The kid was gonna be the death of him. Naruto

wouldn't let this go, Kakashi knew it, he just knew it.

"Well, okay, but just so you know. If you were gay....That'd be okay."

The voice was as golden and cheery as the mussed hair on the eighteen year old

boy's head. "I mean 'cause, Hey, I'd like you anyway." Kakashi tried

to smother himself with a pillow, just to get that voice out of his head.

It didn't work, his ears were straining to every golden syllable. "Because

you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay." Naruto

spoke softly as he made his way to the room Kakashi was letting him use while he

stayed here.

BUT you're NOT GAY. Kakashi thought with

sad choked sob. He had to admit it now. He was in love with the

annoying blond ball of warm fuzzy feelings.

\-------------------

Two days later:

"Naruto, please! I am trying to read...." The damn kid kept taking

the book out of his hands, obviously trying to talk to him. Kakashi didn't

want to talk. "What?!" He finally asked in exasperation.

"If you were queer."

"Ah, Naruto!" Kakashi rolled his eyes. Not this

again.

"I'd still be here,"

Kakashi interrupted him again. "Naruto, I'm trying to read this book."

"Year after year." The boy looked so sweet and sincere.

"Naruto!"

"Because you're dear to me," The love, platonic

love, in the blue eyes was too much to be borne.

Kakashi got up, without his book. "Argh!" He stormed off toward the

training grounds, desperately in need of something to destroy.

\-------------------

That evening:

Naruto started in the moment he got back. Kakashi started doing busy work,

just to keep the kid from smothering him.

"And I know that you...."

Kakashi had been ignoring him, but the pause in the almost constant babble drew

his attention from the kunai he was sharpening. "What?"

"Would accept me too," The boys voice was soft, almost a whisper.

"I would?" What the hell else was he supposed to say...?

"If I told you today, 'HEY! GUESS WHAT, I'M GAY!'

I'd jump your bones....BUT you're NOT GAY.

Naruto stood up slowly, now that he had Kakashi's attention, he

wasn't going to lose it. "I'm happy just being with you." He began

to take off the orange and black jacket. All he had on underneath was a

black mesh shirt.

Kakashi tried to derail his thoughts. High Button

Shoes, Pal Joey...

"So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?" There was a

hint of sadness in the voice and Kakashi couldn't figure it out.

"Naruto, that's perverse!" Whatever, lying closet

perv.... He berated himself.

"No it's not!" Naruto insisted vehemently. "If you were gay I'd

shout HOORAY!" Naruto threw his hands up for emphasis and Kakashi was

starting to figure this out.

He wasn't ready to deal with the implications. I

am not listening! He told himself even as his ears

perked up like a puppies.

"and here I'd stay," Naruto said softly as he slid to his knees in

front of the older man. His blue eyes soft and pleading.

Kakashi tried to ignore the image and the words.

La la la la la!

"But I wouldn't get in your way." The blond head dropped, just before a

tear was clearly visible on a golden cheek.

"Aaaah!" Kakashi growled. Now he'd made the boy cry. He tried

to say something, anything, nothing came out.

Naruto continued to speak where he was. "You can count on me...to always be

beside you every day, to tell you it's okay, you were just born that way,"

That last bit sounded like the younger man was trying to console himself.

It could be so difficult when you first realize that you didn't fit the hetero

mold everyone expected. "and, as they say, it's in your DNA, YOU'RE GAY!"

"But you're NOT GAY!" Kakashi felt like a moron for blurting out the fact

that he had repeated to himself for the past year about the younger man.

"If I were gay?" Naruto responded his voice barely a whisper, as his

golden hands came up to rest on Kakashi's firm thighs, caressing them gently.

"Argh!" Kakashi pulled the boy up to him and whispered fiercely.

"Then I'd kiss you like this!"

They weren't able to talk for sometime and then it was to decide that Naruto

really didn't need that little apartment of his. Kakashi had more than

enough room in his for both of them.

\-----End----

 

If You Were Gay (song lyrics) from the Avenue Q musical, written by Robert Lopez

and Jeff Marx

ROD

Aah, an afternoon alone with

My favorite book, "Broadway

Musicals of the 1940s."

No roommate to bother me.

How could it get any better than this?

 

NICKY

Oh,hi Rod!

 

ROD

Hi Nicky.

 

NICKY

Hey Rod, you'll never

Guess what happened to

Me on the subway this morning.

This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

 

ROD

That's very interesting.

 

NICKY

He was being real friendly,

And I think he was coming on to me.

I think he might've thought I was gay!

 

ROD

Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?

Why should I care?

I don't care.

What did you have for lunch today?

 

NICKY

Oh, you don't have to get

All defensive about it, Rod...

 

ROD

I'm NOT getting defensive!

What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?

I'm trying to read.

 

NICKY

Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.

I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

 

ROD

I don't want to talk about it,

Nicky! This conversation is over!!!

 

NICKY

Yeah, but...

 

ROD

OVER!!!

 

NICKY

Well, okay, but just so you know ”

IF YOU WERE GAY

THAT'D BE OKAY.

I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,

I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.

BECAUSE YOU SEE,

IF IT WERE ME,

I WOULD FEEL FREE

TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY

(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

 

ROD

Nicky, please!

I am trying to read....

What?!

 

NICKY

IF YOU WERE QUEER

 

ROD

Ah, Nicky!

 

NICKY

I'D STILL BE HERE,

 

ROD

Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.

 

NICKY

YEAR AFTER YEAR

 

ROD

Nicky!

 

NICKY

BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR

TO ME,

 

ROD

Argh!

 

NICKY

AND I KNOW THAT YOU

 

ROD

What?

 

NICKY

WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,

 

ROD

I would?

 

NICKY

IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,

"HEY! GUESS WHAT,

I'M GAY!"

(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

I'M HAPPY

JUST BEING WITH YOU.

 

ROD

High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

 

NICKY

SO WHAT SHOULD IT

MATTER TO ME

WHAT YOU DO IN BED

WITH GUYS?

 

ROD

Nicky, that's GROSS!

 

NICKY

No it's not!

IF YOU WERE GAY

I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

 

ROD

I am not listening!

 

NICKY

AND HERE I'D STAY,

 

ROD

La la la la la!

 

NICKY

BUT I WOULDN'T GET

IN YOUR WAY.

 

ROD

Aaaah!

 

NICKY

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

TO ALWAYS BE

BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,

TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,

YOU WERE JUST BORN

THAT WAY,

AND, AS THEY SAY,

IT'S IN YOUR DNA,

YOU'RE GAY!

 

ROD

BUT I'M NOT GAY!

 

NICKY

If you were gay.

 

ROD

Argh!


End file.
